


Twelve Prompts of Christmas (And Then Some)

by Einzel



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Free!, おそ松さん | Osomatsu-san (Anime), 弱虫ペダル | Yowamushi Pedal
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Party, Christmas Presents, Christmas Shopping, Christmas market, Eggnog, Hakone Gakuen | Hakogaku, Ice Skating, Matsuno Brothers - Freeform, Multi, Sohoku High School | Sohoku, Ugly Holiday Sweaters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-13 21:44:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 4,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12993138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Einzel/pseuds/Einzel
Summary: A compilation of originally twelve (hence the song summaries for the first twelve ficlets), and now sixteen 300-word ficlets about Christmas, each featuring various characters and ships, for a total of ten Yowamushi Pedal ficlets, three Free! ficlets, two Danganronpa ficlets, and one Osomatsu-san ficlet!You can find the list of Christmas prompts I used here!





	1. Miyahara and Manami, Christmas vs. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _On the first day of posting this, Einzel gave to me,  
>  Manami being a li'l shit._
> 
> **Original prompt:** "I know you’re still mourning Halloween but nobody said you couldn’t use your spider cookie cutters anymore, just put seasonal sprinkles on and we’re good."

“Sangaku!” Miyahara called out from her balcony.

No response. She tapped her foot.  _ “Sangaku!” _

_ “Yes?” _ Manami finally graced her with his indolent presence and propped his elbows on the windowsill.

_ “Sangaku, _ please do something about your outdoor display! It’s depressing me!” Miyahara gestured below them.

“Why would you say that?” mumbled Manami. “Do you have anything against Halloween?”

_ “It’s December!” _

“And?”

“Halloween has  _ expired, _ Sangaku, so please put on a Christmas display like everyone else!”

“I don’t know…” Manami scratched his scalp. “Christmas doesn’t thrill me, and I worked so hard on this display, too… ”

“Can’t you at least  _ try, _ Sangaku?” pleaded Miyahara. “Go watch something festive, it might help put you in the right mood.”

“But I don’t know where we put all our ornaments, anyway…”

“Then just make do with something else!  _ Jeez!” _

“I will! Thank you for your advice!” beamed Manami. Miyahara narrowed her eyes.

“I’m going away this weekend. There had better be a Christmas display by the time I get back,” she turned around and left. Manami hummed goodbye, then grabbed his laptop in search of inspiration.

Come Sunday evening, Manami greeted Miyahara on her return, and with a cheerful  _ No peeking, _ he guided her into his yard.

_ “Now!” _ he said at last. Miyahara opened her eyes.

Bone-san the Skeleton was still there, but he now sported a Santa Claus outfit, and his limbs wrapped around a pine tree decorated with tiny pumpkin lanterns, wax skulls, fabric ghosts, and black rubber bats. Spray-on cobweb covered everything in lieu of artificial snow, and when Manami turned on the lights, his display blasted “Making Christmas” from  _ The Nightmare Before Christmas. _

“I made do!” he declared proudly. “What do you think? It’s amazing, right?”

Miyahara couldn’t say. Her jaw had hit the ground well before the song started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as Miyahara mustered the strength for a scream, Manami tapped her shoulder with a smile, went inside, and returned shortly with a mug of hot chocolate, and a plate laden with spider and tombstone-shaped sugar cookies smothered in festive sprinkles. Miyahara mumbled a thank you and something resembling “you owe me a trip to the Christmas market” as she munched on a tombstone cookie. It was delicious. _Damn you, Sangaku!_


	2. Nagisa/Rei, Hiding Presents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _On the second day of updating, Einzel gave to me,  
>  Reigisa snooping,  
> And Manami being a li'l shit._
> 
> **Original prompt:** "We are adults, but you wouldn’t be able to tell by how we have to hide the presents from each other, seriously, let’s just ask a friend to take them and hide them for us!"

Nagisa giggled as he rubbed his hands together. After several days of cautious reconnaissance, he managed to narrow down Rei’s potential stashes to a few suitable places in the house, and the basement closet with its veil of old clothes seemed the most promising of them all. He reached out, fingers wiggling, ready to carve an opening…

_ “Nagisa-kun!” _ Rei tapped his foot behind him, startling Nagisa into a guilty yelp. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop looking for your presents?! Why are you trying to spoil my surprise? This constant prying.. it’s  _ not beautiful!” _

“I wasn’t prying!” Nagisa puffed up his cheeks. “Besides, Rei-chan’s no better! Didn’t I catch you snooping in the attic the other day?”

Rei choked and flushed red as holly. “I-I was only cleaning, that’s all!”

“Oh,  _ yeah?” _ Nagisa squinted at him. “Then I will have you know that I’ve come up with a solution this morning, to stop Rei-chan from becoming a huge hypocrite!”

_ “Is that so? _ Well, I’ve taken some precautionary measures myself, Nagisa-kun,” Rei flashed him a condescending smirk.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang, and both turned to the other to say,

_ “It’s for me!”  _ **_“Huh?!”_ **

For a moment, both froze, then made a frantic dash towards the stairs, wrestling for the lead at every turn until they wrenched the front door open together.

“Good afternoon..!” Makoto beamed at them. Beside him, Haru blew into his mittened hands. “You both called this morning, so here we are! I believe you have some  _ cargo _ for us?”

“T-That’s right!” Rei reacted quicker. “But first, Nagisa-kun must be dealt with.”

“Dealt with?!” cried Nagisa.

“Alright,” nodded Haru. “Nagisa… come with me.”

“Haru-chan?!  _ Haru-chaaan, you traitor!” _ wailed Nagisa as Haru clamped onto his wrist, dragging him towards the nearest bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While Haru made Nagisa prepare a bath for him (yes, he was wearing his jammers in lieu of underwear, again, still, always), Rei and Makoto gathered Nagisa’s presents and loaded them into the trunk of Makoto’s car, covering them with a blanket. Afterwards, Rei was banished to the bathroom, and it was Nagisa’s turn to give away Rei’s presents for safekeeping. As he and Makoto were gathering them, Nagisa kept asking him what sort of things Rei-chan had entrusted to him and Haru-chan, but Makoto cheerfully deflected his questions, and finally slammed his trunk shut with a definitive “you must wait for your turn like everyone else.”
> 
> Haru enjoyed himself immensely, and parted with a quiet “Thank you for the bath.”


	3. Imaizumi/Naruko/Onoda, Wrapping Presents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _On the third day of updating, Einzel gave to me,  
>  First-years a-wrapping,  
> Reigisa snooping,  
> And Manami being a li'l shit._
> 
> **Original prompt:** "Our wrapping skills are incredibly mismatched, and you’d think we’d be able to strategically combine our talents for the best possible outcome, but you would be wrong."

When Sakamichi left the advent roundtable to bring refreshments, he secretly hoped Shunsuke and Shoukichi might reach a compromise by the time he returned, but alas, they were still stuck on the first item of the agenda…

“For the last time, just leave everything to me!” Shunsuke folded his arms with a scowl as Sakamichi entered with his tray.

“Like hell I will!” snapped Shoukichi. “Sakamichi-kun, you gotta take my side, here!”

“Wh-What’s wrong?” Sakamichi passed out two cups of hot chocolate.

“We agreed we’d all chip in, but Hotshot’s trying to shut me out!”

“You don’t know the first thing about wrapping presents the right way!”

“The  _ boring _ way, you mean,” Shoukichi flashed a condescending smirk.

_ “What did you say?” _ Shunsuke glared back.

“S-Stop fighting, you two!” Sakamichi waved his hands. “Why don’t we just draw amida for the wrapping paper, the ribbons, and the cards?!”

The others exchanged glances and shrugged; and when their jointly devised amidakuji was drawn, Shunsuke begrudgingly accepted the outcome.

With Sakamichi’s gentle nudges towards compromise, and the occasional luck-based draw, they breezed through the rest of the agenda, and three weeks later, they gathered once more to wrap their presents…

“Sakamichi.. what are  _ those,” _ muttered Shunsuke as Sakamichi unfurled six different rolls of gaudy, mismatched wrapping paper. Sakamichi rubbed his nose with a twinkle.

“While I was out shopping, I ran into Makishima-san, and he was looking for wrapping paper too, so…”

“You ended up buying the same kinds, huh,” Shoukichi shook his head with a grin. “Well, there’s nothing a huge, flashy bow won’t fix!  _ Ka-ka-ka!” _ he whipped out three rolls of thick, neon red ribbon.  _ “It’s great, isn’t it?!” _

Shunsuke groaned in pain, but when his turn came, he attached his metallic blue cards to their lovingly wrapped abominations without complaint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, they would have been better off with Imaizumi handling everything, but the thing about being a household of three boyfriends is that you split your chores and allow everyone’s personal touches to shine through. Onoda and Naruko were immensely proud of their efforts, so Imaizumi eventually reconciled himself to being less than perfect for their sakes.
> 
> Makishima later received a large box of assorted gifts. He couldn’t help but make a face at the familiar wrapping paper, but was very touched, deep down.
> 
> Unbeknownst to Onoda, Imaizumi and Naruko sent Midousuji an anonymous package containing an XS size custom-made “Zaku at Heart” t-shirt. Midousuji regifted it to Mizuta at Kyoto Fushimi’s Secret Santa party. Mizuta thanked him in tears.


	4. Sohoku and Hakogaku, Ice Skating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _On the fourth day of updating, Einzel gave to me,  
>  Cyclists ice-skating,  
> First-years a-wrapping,  
> Reigisa snooping,  
> And Manami being a li'l shit._
> 
> **Original prompt:** "We decided to give the ice skating rink a spin, but while you’re a natural, I’m a natural disaster and no thanks, I don’t think I can get up anyway..."

The friendly Sohoku and Hakogaku ice skating party, organized by an eager Toudou and his reluctant rival, and held in Yokohama as an acceptable midway point between their respective schools, went off without a hitch. Mostly.

For starters, Toudou had been greatly motivated by the idea that he might just have to teach Maki-chan how to skate, but to his chagrin, Makishima turned out to be the worst sort of natural there is. His long, rubbery legs not only rendered him immune to falling, but his audaciously chaotic movements made it impossible to skate alongside him.  _ So rude! _

And let’s not even mention all the incidents… save for an amusing few.

“It’s all in the hips, Juichi!” Shinkai winked as he glided past, missing the way Fukutomi bled tears of shame and frustration. His hands had practically fused to the railing by then, but he managed to tear one hand free and reached it out, his friend’s name a broken stutter on his lips… and then froze as his fingers snagged and caused another skater to collapse.

Fukutomi’s eyes widened in horror.

_“Kinjou…_ **_KINJOOOUUU!”_**

Meanwhile, despite taking his umpteenth fall, Manami still choked out laughter.

“A-Are you okay, Manami-kun?!” Onoda scrambled over.

_ “So cold…” _ Manami’s breath misted against the ice. “This piercing chill..  _ I feel so alive!” _

A few meters away, Arakita lay silent and prostrate. Makishima scuttled to a stop beside him.

“A..Arakita, right? Do you need help, sho?”

“No.. This is fine.”

Judging by his lifeless tone, Arakita had gone through all stages of grief and finally reached acceptance after two concussions. Makishima clicked his tongue.

“Here…” he grabbed Arakita’s jacket, yanking him upright with unprecedented force. Arakita panicked and latched onto him in a bearhug. Both flushed and turned their heads.

_ “This.. is fine, too..” _

_ “Sho…” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinjou broke no bones this time, but Fukutomi still felt terrible, so he treated Kinjou to hot drinks to make up for his disgraceful actions. Shinkai remained oblivious of the turmoil he had caused by being another obnoxious natural, mostly because he and Tadokoro started talking about all the hot food they would eat afterwards.
> 
> Toudou eventually found consolation in the fact that barring Shinkai, nobody else could glide as gracefully as he, not even his first-year copycat. He then lost all peace of mind as he watched Maki-chan and his clinging sidecar Arakita develop a surprisingly efficient joint skating form, where Arakita provided propulsion, while Makishima was in charge of direction. (Naruko, who wore all red to the rink so he would stand out, was super impressed with their flashy maneuvers. Imaizumi did not share the sentiment.)
> 
> Arakita and Makishima then went out for hot drinks on their own, without inviting their best friend Toudou along. _So rude! Seriously!!_


	5. Shinkai/Tadokoro, Christmas Market

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _On the fifth day of updating, Einzel gave to me,  
>  Christmas market!  
> Cyclists ice-skating,  
> First-years a-wrapping,  
> Reigisa snooping,  
> And Manami being a li'l shit._
> 
> **Original prompt:** "We decided to go to the Christmas fair this year, but we got stuck between the mulled wine cart and the grilled sausage stand - not that I’m complaining."

The Yokohama Red Brick Warehouse Christmas Market, said to be a recreation of the original in Cologne, Germany, proved an attraction in every sense of the word. Locals and visitors alike had flooded its festive tunnel of light, swarming around a score of quaint wooden huts in search of trinkets, ornaments, and hot refreshments, and so Shinkai was overjoyed, rather than surprised, to spot a familiar face in the crowd.

Tadokoro’s frame lent him much distinction even in that sea of bustling passersby, but just to be safe, Shinkai stopped at a modest distance.

“Jin-kun?” he called out. “Remember me?”

Tadokoro hummed in surprise and turned around, and after a brief jog of his memory, his face lit up brighter than the ceiling.

“Well, I’ll be! It’s Shinkai from Hakogaku!” he waded over with a grin. “Come to see the Christmas market, eh?”

“That’s right. It was Jinpachi’s idea,” explained Shinkai. “Yasutomo lives in Yokohama, so Jinpachi suggested we all come and see the Christmas market, then spend the night at his house. Yasutomo wasn’t very pleased about it, but Juichi expressed interest, and that settled it.”

“I see,” laughed Tadokoro. “Makishima’s the same way. He kept making excuses, but when Onoda asked if he would come, he dropped them at once.  _ Sheesh,” _ he shook his head. It was Shinkai’s turn to laugh.

“Since we’re here, why don’t we get something to eat while we look for the others?” he said next. Tadokoro grinned.

“That’d be great, Shinkai.”

_ “Hayato,  _ then,” Shinkai cocked his head. “It’s nicer that way.”

“Alright..  _ Hayato,” _ Tadokoro’s cheeks tinged. Shinkai gave him an approving  _ Bang! _

Five minutes later, they settled down at a table with mulled tea and a plate of grilled sausage between them… and for the next few hours, they forgot about everything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yokohama is a nice and reasonable midway point between Chiba and Hakone, so I tend to unite the two teams there. That’s how I learned that the [Yokohama Red Brick Warehouse Christmas Market](http://www.yokohamajapan.com/events/detail.php?id=78) was actually a thing happening this year, so I ran with it!
> 
> Tadokoro and Shinkai parted as “Jin” and Hayato” by the end of the evening. Some of their friends showed up some hours into their grilled sausage party and joined them, but their conversation continued, and they even exchanged phone numbers and e-mail addresses. Shinkai later invited Tadokoro over to Hakone and Tadokoro brought him an assorted bread basket from his family’s bakery.
> 
> Arakita stuck to Fukutomi for a while, but at one point, they ran into Makishima, who was escorting a happily babbling Onoda. Onoda spotted Arakita and hurried over to say hi, and to thank him again for what he had done at the Inter-high. Makishima joined in and said he had been meaning to thank him too. Arakita flushed crimson and said it was nothing, and the three of them ended up walking around together, leaving Fukutomi to enjoy his apple strudel in peace. Eventually, Toudou found the three of them, and scolded Maki-chan for not picking up his phone, then invited him to spend the night with them at Arakita’s house. Strangely enough, Arakita didn’t protest, much…


	6. Arakita/Makishima, Retirement Home Volunteers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _On the sixth day of updating, Einzel gave to me  
>  Couple volunteering,  
> Christmas market!  
> Cyclists ice-skating,  
> First-years a-wrapping,  
> Reigisa snooping,  
> And Manami being a li'l shit._
> 
> **Original prompt:** "We volunteered to spread some holiday joy at a retirement home and honestly, it was the best decision because we got to bake a ton of cookies and met some amazing people."

_ “Green-kun! _ More cookies, please!” Naruko Shoukichi tapped his knee with a grin. Yuusuke finished serving a blanket-wrapped Miyahara-obaasan, then turned around, his festive container almost empty.

“Here, sho,” he walked over to the couch and held it out, suppressing laughter as the old man snatched it from him and popped a cookie directly into his dentured maw.

_ “Ka-ka-ka! _ Delicious! This’ll keep the old bowels moving!”

After two more, he paused, expression pensive.

“My family never brings food anymore… so I gotta enjoy these while I can!”

“I see, sho,” smiled Yuusuke. Somewhere behind him, Yasutomo sputtered in frustration.

“I lost  _ again?!” _ he clutched his head, his hanafuda scattered across the table. “Fuku-jii, you sure you aren’t cheating?! You’re way too strong!”

Across from him, Fukutomi Juichi lifted his head, eyes gleaming behind his bifocals.

“That’s right. I’m..  _ strong!” _ was his reply. Yasutomo heaved a sigh, but his smile crept back as he shuffled the cards again.

An hour later, the caretaker, Ishigaki Koutarou, escorted the two volunteers out.

“Thank you again so much for coming,” he bowed to them. “You made everyone very happy, and Fukutomi-san hasn’t spoken this much in years..!”

“Really..? That’s great,” Yasutomo rubbed the back of his head with flushed cheeks. Yuusuke lifted a hand to wave.

“Then we might come again, sho,” he said with a smile.

“Please do!” Ishigaki smiled back, then closed the door behind them.

“You wanna come back, huh?” Yasutomo reached for Yuusuke’s hand.

“Y-Yeah, sho…” Yuusuke scratched his cheek. “I talked to Naruko-ojiisan, and he told me he used to dye his hair red, and he misses it… so I thought…”

_ “Seriously?!” _ blurted Yasutomo. “Fuku-jii told me he used to bleach it, but now he wishes it was black again!”

Their eyes locked.

“Wanna go buy hair dye?”

“Sure, sho.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They later went back with another batch of cookies, and dyed Naruko and Fukutomi’s hair red and black, respectively. Both immediately felt twenty years younger. Yasutomo and Yuusuke now visit the retirement home at regular intervals to dye their hair and talk or play hanafuda with them.


	7. Arakita/Makishima vs. Toudou/Tadokoro, Shopping Wars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _On the seventh day of updating, Einzel gave to me,  
>  Gift wars escalating,  
> Couple volunteering,  
> Christmas market!  
> Cyclists ice-skating,  
> First-years a-wrapping,  
> Reigisa snooping,  
> And Manami being a li'l shit._
> 
> **Original prompt:** "Every store is running out of that popular toy our kids want, and now you either commit and help me wrestle this other couple for the last one, or I’m gonna go solo!"

Yasutomo and Yuusuke had looked everywhere, from Kiddy Land and Toys R’ Us to all major electronics stores in the vicinity, but the Strike Freedom Zaku remained unnervingly elusive - until Yuusuke noticed a ransacked display with a single box left…

“Yasutomo! _ Over here, sho!” _ Yuusuke made a dash towards it, only to scramble to a halt as a figure swooped between him and his target.

_ “Not so fast, Maki-chan!” _ Toudou Jinpachi threw out his arms. Yuusuke gasped.

**“Toudou?!”**

“It’s been a long time, hasn’t it, Maki-chan!” Toudou slapped his hands on his hips.  _ “Hahahaha!  _ It seems fate wants us to compete again, for the sake of our children’s future!”

Yasutomo chose that moment to grind to a stop by Yuusuke’s side.

“The fuck’s going on?” he gestured at Toudou.

“It’s my old rival from fashion school, sho,” Yuusuke replied without looking away. “Looks like this’ll be a tough fight, sho…”

_ “Are you dumb?! _ We’re two against one! Let’s just take the box and go!” snapped Yasutomo. Toudou clicked his tongue.

“This is between me and Maki-chan now, but if you want a fight, I'll humor you…” he flashed a saccharine smile, and in a matching voice, he called out, “Oh,  _ Jin-Jin!” _

Within seconds, a six-foot bear materialized beside Toudou, who snuggled his arm shamelessly.

“Jin-Jin,” he pointed to Yasutomo, “take care of that guy for me, would you..?”

_ “Pleased to beat you,” _ Tadokoro Jin flashed a menacing grin. Yasutomo instinctively took a step backwards, but Yuusuke grabbed his wrist.

“Remember your wedding vows!  _ It’s ride or die, sho!” _ he squeezed, eyes flashing. “Let’s do this!  _ For the twins, sho!” _

Yasutomo swallowed, but the fire in Yuusuke’s eyes finally lit a spark in his.

“You’re right, Yuusuke…  _ For the twins!” _

They assumed their stances. Toudou and Tadokoro mirrored them.

**_“Ready… CHARGE!”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was inspired by [mini-drama CD content,](http://digitalscratch.pmsinfirm.org/7151) where Makishima and Toudou had a fashion competition, and Tadokoro was there. I just really want Toudou to love him and fawn over him and call him Jin-Jin.
> 
> Yasutomo’s ferocity took Tadokoro by surprise, but after a minute of enduring his skinny opponent’s chokehold, he found a weak point and knocked down Yasutomo, then sat on him to put him out of commission. This almost decided the outcome, but then Yuusuke managed to snatch off Toudou’s hairband and threw it into the next aisle, causing Toudou to chase after it with a screech. It was then that the three of them noticed that the box they had been brawling over was gone…
> 
> “GET IN LINE, MIKI!” screamed Tachibana Aya as she escaped with her bounty. That year, their family of two moms and their dear little Sakamichi (age five) had a merry Christmas indeed.
> 
> Toudou apologized when he realized what happened, and treated Yuusuke and Yasutomo to tea for causing a scene and ruining their chance of getting the toy, which helped reconcile the rivals and even start a friendship between their husbands. Toudou and Tadokoro later decided to buy a gaming console and a few family-friendly multiplayer games for their boys, Shoukichi (age nine) and Sangaku (age seven). Yuusuke and Yasutomo ended up getting different zakus for Hajime and Junta (age four, born thirty-eight minutes apart).


	8. Togami/Fukawa, Christmas Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _On the eighth day of updating, Einzel gave to me,  
>  Christmas tree shopping,  
> Gift wars escalating,  
> Couple volunteering,  
> Christmas market!  
> Cyclists ice-skating,  
> First-years a-wrapping,  
> Reigisa snooping,  
> And Manami being a li'l shit._
> 
> **Original prompt:** "Not only did we spend an hour arguing about the right tree size at the vendor, but the tree we ended up buying was still the wrong size for our home, what now?"

“B-Byakuya-sama, _it’s too big..!”_

“Nonsense. It’s just the right size.”

“S-Something of this girth, this _magnitude_ will never fit.. Y-You might have to _force it in!”_

“No force shall be required. Now will you relax and leave this to me?” frowned Byakuya.

“Y-Yes.. I’ll try and, _unclench,_ Byakuya-sama…” Touko pressed her palms to her flushed cheeks.

“You do that,” Byakuya rolled his eyes and turned back to the vendor. “This tree will suffice.”

“That’ll be thirty-five thousand yen,” replied the vendor, with a squint that said they owed him a tip for enduring that conversation from start to finish, but Byakuya ignored him.

Much like he had ignored the height and available space of their living room, in fact.

“I-I told you it was too big,” Touko wrung her braids.

“You did,” conceded Byakuya. “I must have miscalculated, _somehow,”_ his lips twisted at the thought of having erred. The idea consumed him so much that he startled when Touko touched his arm.

“What now, Byakuya-sama?”

Byakuya sighed. “There is but one thing to do, Touko…”

“Yes..?”

“You must prepare the hot pot ahead of schedule,” Byakuya pulled out his phone, and before Touko could ask for clarification, he dialed and lifted the phone to his ear.

“Hagakure? This is Togami Byakuya. No… _Yes._ Our tree needs adjustment, and— _I see._ …Well, I suppose that might do. …Yes, we shall be at home. Do not keep us waiting. Goodbye.”

His brow furrowed as he hung up. Touko clasped her hands.

“What is it, Byakuya-sama..?”

“Hagakure has lent his chainsaw to Kirigiri for some reason, but he will be over soon with a regular axe.”

“So the hot pot is—”

“Payment, of course,” Byakuya fixed his glasses. “Double the meat, just to be safe.”

“I will, darling!” Touko fluttered into the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, in a quaint little pine forest some ways away, Kirigiri Kyouko snapped her protective goggles into place and hefted the chainsaw with a quiet but stern “Stand back, Makoto-kun.” She and Naegi brought home a perfect tree that evening.


	9. Arakita/Makishima, Ugly Sweaters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _On the ninth day of updating, Einzel gave to me,  
>  Ugly sweater contest,  
> Christmas tree shopping,  
> Gift wars escalating,  
> Couple volunteering,  
> Christmas market!  
> Cyclists ice-skating,  
> First-years a-wrapping,  
> Reigisa snooping,  
> And Manami being a li'l shit._
> 
> **Original prompt:** "Our friends are holding an ugly Christmas sweater contest at their next party and I really want the prize, so either help me shop or let’s make our own horrendous sweaters!"

When Toudou first raised the idea of a Christmas party, it sounded like a mundane affair, with little incentive beyond free food and alcohol; however, Yuusuke and Yasutomo soon found that Toudou had prepared a few twists to make it worth everyone’s while. For one, he offered to reserve a room at his family’s hot springs inn; and two, he proposed a contest to make the wait as exciting as the get-together itself.

_ Whoever wears the ugliest Christmas sweater shall win a prize: a weekend’s stay at our inn for New Year’s! Hahahaha! Good luck, and may the worst design win! _

“Yuusuke,  _ I want that prize,” _ Yasutomo told him as soon as they left, and ever ready to accept his rival’s challenge, Yuusuke promised to put his creative fashion to good use.

The day arrived, and there was no shortage in terrible sweaters. Toudou’s featured wrap-around tinsel with gaudy ornaments hung from strategic places; Kinjou knitted his own sweater, and incorporated over a dozen tacky patterns; Tadokoro purchased an obnoxious faux printed sweater, and Fukutomi found one with two plump peach-colored reindeer heads protruding from his chest like a pair of innuendos.

His victory seemed imminent… until Yasutomo and Yuusuke arrived in a matching set.

They weren’t so much sweaters as grotesque puffer jackets fashioned to look like bulging torsos vacuum-sealed in spandex. Yasutomo’s made him look like a steroid-ripped bodybuilder elf, while Yuusuke’s resembled Santa as a heavyweight wrestling champion, their nipples overly exaggerated by generous pinches in the fabric.

Nobody could utter a word, until Manami pointed out that something pink was poking out from between the buttoned front of Yuusuke’s jacket. Yuusuke flashed a hideous grin and yanked it, causing several meters of raw sausage to tumble out of his jacket’s built-in stomach cavity.

He won instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuusuke originally thought of including the insulated stomach cavity so the jacket could store up to three ice cold bottles of Bepsi, but once they realized the potential of keeping things cool in there, the conclusion became inevitable. Manami actually laughed and said it was clever, but everyone else was either screaming (Tadokoro), sobbing uncontrollably (Toudou), staring brokenly at the sausage (Kinjou), or dry-heaving (Fukutomi).
> 
> Like Toudou, Fukutomi was inconsolable for a while, both for losing and for showing weakness, but Yuusuke actually used premium quality sausage wrapped in a protective layer of cling film for his dramatic finish, and offered it as extra food for the party, so Toudou forgave his rival for creating an unholy abomination, granted he and Yasutomo agreed to take off their jackets for the rest of the evening. After a few rounds of delicious grilled sausage, Fukutomi finally cheered up and congratulated Yuusuke and Yasutomo on beating him.
> 
> A week later, the winning gross couple had a lovely weekend at the hot springs inn. The end.


	10. Arakita/Makishima, Spiked Eggnog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _On the tenth day of updating, Einzel gave to me,  
>  Way too much whiskey,  
> Ugly sweater contest,  
> Christmas tree shopping,  
> Gift wars escalating,  
> Couple volunteering,  
> Christmas market!  
> Cyclists ice-skating,  
> First-years a-wrapping,  
> Reigisa snooping,  
> And Manami being a li'l shit._
> 
> **Original prompt:** "I was worried when I saw you dump half a bottle of whiskey into your homemade eggnog, but it was actually a great decision and I’m ready for drunk sex on the couch."

The eggnog recipe Yuusuke found online calls for two and a half cups of light rum. Using rum might be crucial, too: recipes with exact measurements are usually fickle about their choice of ingredients as well. However, having missed the opportunity to run down to the store due to a million exasperating phone calls, Yuusuke decides that the eighty percent bourbon whiskey will just have to do instead.

He pours in one cup and stirs the mixture. What’s left of his sanity implores him to dilute it, but the haunting echoes of those phone calls drown it out.

_Makishima-san, this is due in five hours…_

_Yuusuke-kun, can you help me out?_

_Yes, that’s Christmas morning, but could you please come in…_

He dumps in another cup.

_Did you even take your shopping list? You forgot the napkins and…_

_Son, I told you before that we were coming to visit…_

_I won’t take no for an answer, Maki-chan!_

And a half.

“Yuusuke… ain’t that too much?” Yasutomo leans in and nods at the pot.

Yuusuke’s neck twists towards him like a tightly wound puppet. He doesn’t answer, and he doesn’t break eye contact as he sloshes in more bourbon, straight from the bottle. Sensible of his own good, Yasutomo retreats without a word.

An hour later, when Yuusuke pours himself a water glass of the stuff at the Christmas dinner table, surrounded by family members and one Toudou Jinpachi, Yasutomo says nothing. As Yuusuke picks three different fights while on his second glass, Yasutomo remains silent… and when Yuusuke stands up and throws a leg over him, then proceeds to straddle him with a slurred _“Fuck me right here, sho,”_ causing more than one guest to choke on their cake, Yasutomo finally says,

“I think everyone else should go home now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I even say? They fucked right there. Merry Christmas.
> 
> Okay, a bit of trivia: I wrote most of this to the tune of [Self-Awareness Rising](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yB7hJFa39m4) from the second disk of the Osomatsu-san OST, because it’s my favorite track, and it perfectly describes Yuusuke’s mood as he makes the eggnog. Seriously, put it on and read them together for full effect.


	11. Togami/Fukawa, Ruined Kitchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _On the eleventh day of updating, Einzel gave to me,  
>  One ruined kitchen,  
> Way too much whiskey,  
> Ugly sweater contest,  
> Christmas tree shopping,  
> Gift wars escalating,  
> Couple volunteering,  
> Christmas market!  
> Cyclists ice-skating,  
> First-years a-wrapping,  
> Reigisa snooping,  
> And Manami being a li'l shit._
> 
> **Original prompt:** "The oven is busted and the stove stopped working, so our Christmas dinner is either Chinese takeout or yesterday’s cookies and all the alcohol we can find, your choice."

_“B-Byakuya-sama…”_ Touko placed a tremulous hand on his back as Byakuya continued to stare at their busted pressure cooker sunk halfway into the shattered stove and caved-in oven, its renegade lid lodged into the exhaust hood above.

Ten seconds passed; the length of a long, deep breath.

“It appears the lid was not secured properly,” Byakuya spoke at last, his tone lifeless.

“S-So it seems…”

“Well, there goes our beef bourguignon. …And our kitchen,” Byakuya lowered his eyes.

“P-Please do not blame yourself, Byakuya-sama!” Touko clasped her hands, then squeaked as the front door clicked and Hagakure Yasuhiro entered with a spare key neither remembered giving him.

“Togamicchi! _Fukawacchi!”_ he called out, cheerfully oblivious. “I’m here to drop off some booze _and_ ** _holy hell,_** **_what happened here?!”_** he ground to a halt in the kitchen doorway, half a dozen bottles clutched to his chest. Byakuya and Touko turned towards him on rusted hinges.

“A minor setback,” replied Byakuya, expression unreadable. Hagakure paused.

“Is that beef I smell?”

 _“Yes?_ What of it?”

“Can I have some?” Hagakure grinned at them.

“I-It’s still raw, you imbecile…” muttered Touko. Hagakure seemed unfazed.

“I don’t mind! You can’t finish cooking it anyway, right?”

 **_“Just take it and get out!”_ ** snapped Byakuya. Sensing danger, Hagakure unloaded his bottles onto their table, yanked the pressure cooker free and made his (Togami) escape. Touko sneered. Byakuya inspected the bottles.

“Eggnog,” was his verdict. “Our Christmas dinner shall be all liquid, Touko.”

“Wait, Byakuya-sama!” Touko’s eyes lit up. “Asahina once gave me a recipe.. for edible cookie dough! It’s meant to be eaten raw… _or licked from a spoo-hoo-hoon…”_ she hugged herself.

“When you are _finished,_ you may prepare it,” replied Byakuya. “If it’s to my taste, I might even _lick the spoon.”_

Touko flushed deeper. _“Yes, Byakuya-sama..!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To make up for the loss of their dinner, Touko prepared a double batch of edible cookie dough, and as promised, Byakuya licked his little spoon to her heart’s content, if you know what I mean. Meanwhile, Hagakure cooked and ate some of the beef bourguignon, then took the rest over to Asahina’s place unannounced. She was very impressed, so Hagakure didn’t have the heart to tell her it wasn’t his cooking…


	12. Makoto/Haruka, Holiday Stress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _On the twelfth day of updating, Einzel gave to me,  
>  Some holiday stress,  
> One ruined kitchen,  
> Way too much whiskey,  
> Ugly sweater contest,  
> Christmas tree shopping,  
> Gift wars escalating,  
> Couple volunteering,  
> Christmas market!  
> Cyclists ice-skating,  
> First-years a-wrapping,  
> Reigisa snooping,  
> And Manami being a li'l shit._
> 
> **Original prompt:** "We are both getting overwhelmed and frustrated with all the planning and chores, so it’s time to stop, grab some hot drinks, and cuddle for a bit to salvage our holiday moods."

When Makoto caught the first signs of frustration - a sigh, a slight knit of Haruka’s brow -, he slipped into the kitchen and put the kettle on, then resumed writing greeting cards by the coffee table. He managed another one before Haru’s shoulders hunched in resentment at a tangle in the light cords that refused to unravel, so Makoto put down his pen again to sweep some wrapping clutter off the sofa… and just as Haru’s right eye broke into a twitch, Makoto turned off the stove and removed the kettle.

He soon returned to the coffee table and pushed the cards to one side, to make way for a festive red and white tray laden with a tea pot, two cups, and a plate of store-bought shortbread. A moment later, Haru flinched as a large, warm hand settled on his shoulder.

“Time to take a break, Haru,” Makoto flashed him a tender smile. Haru managed a hum and lurched to his feet, letting Makoto guide him to the sofa and help him to a cup of camomile tea.

They sipped away in comfortable silence, and slowly, Makoto’s arm wound around Haruka’s shoulders. Haru inclined his head and nestled close.

“Tired, huh?” Makoto rubbed his arm.

“Decorating is a pain,” sighed Haruka. Makoto cracked a smile.

“Those lights are really old, too… maybe I should pick up new ones when I go to the store.”

“And I still need to make dinner…”

“Sorry, I can’t help you there,” Makoto gave him an apologetic look. “But I’ll wash up for you, and set the table. How’s that?”

“Thank you,” Haru closed his eyes.

“And then I’ll decorate my apartment, too,” mused Makoto. Haru tensed.

“No need..” he mumbled. “Mine will do for both of us…”

Makoto’s smile grew warmer. “You’re right, Haru…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the end, with Makoto’s help, Haruka managed to put on the decorations in time, and then they had a nice homemade dinner with Rei and Nagisa, who came to visit them in Tokyo just before the holidays. Makoto apologized that he couldn’t take them to his apartment, but honestly, they practically forgot that he had his own.


	13. Tadokoro/Makishima, Holiday Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Original prompt:** “I asked you to put on some holiday music so we can get into the Christmas spirit, but you put on something completely different than what I expected, and it’s still working?!”

Had it not been their first Christmas together, Jin might have gone into hibernation till New Year’s. Normally, running a busy bakery brought a strong sense of pride and satisfaction, but the turbulent holiday season combined with the dreariest weather imaginable had turned the usual vision of abundance and prosperity into bitter sludge in Jin’s head.

Come the twenty-fourth, it took considerable effort to keep his grin as an eager Yuusuke served him breakfast in bed, and by the time Jin entered their living room, where mounds of decorations lay still unfastened and unhung, it evaporated completely.

“Yuusuke…” he scratched his head as his fiancé picked up a garland with the evident intention of pinning it to the curtain rods. “Can we put on some music?”

“Music, sho?” Yuusuke glanced up. Jin fumbled for a smile.

“Something to get in the holiday spirit? Like some old classics. You know how much I like the classics…”

Yuusuke paused in thought. At length, his face lit up.

“I’ve got just the thing, Jicchi,” he wound the garland around his neck like a tinsel boa, then made a beeline for his CD collection.

Within seconds, a catchy, clap-like beat and mellow funk streamed from the sound system, putting a rhythmic swing in Yuusuke’s steps as he returned to the curtain rods. Jin, too, bobbed his head along to the singer’s soft cries for his _baby, baby,_ a genuine grin spilling across his round face.

 _Romantic holiday songs, eh?_ he reached for the Christmas tree lights. _Who knew you were the type, Yuusuke..!_

And then the words _“I need sexual healing”_ hit Jin’s ears, but it was a bit too late to demand an actual holiday song… and by the time Marvin Gaye cooed _“Let’s make love tonight,”_ Jin had no more objections whatsoever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The went through about half of the decorations before Jin took Marvin Gaye’s repeated advice and shimmied up to Yuusuke for some “sexual healing.” They made passionate love in their sparsely decorated living room, then lazed around for the rest of the day and ended up having to go out to eat fast food on Christmas Eve. It was still worth it.


	14. Makoto/Haruka vs. Sousuke/Rin, Outdoor Displays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Original prompt:** “The neighbors’ outdoor Christmas display is shaping up to be way better than what we had planned for our front yard, clearly this means war.”

It all started when Haruka and Makoto installed a dazzling pair of blue and silver metal Christmas trees on either side of the path leading to their front porch. Perhaps, in another neighborhood, their display would have attracted little more than awed glances, but standing by the kitchen window of the house opposite them, Rin’s hands tightened over his protein shake.

“Sousuke… what were we going to do for the front yard this year..?”

“Lights for the roof and the windows,” Sousuke walked over to join him.

“Get the catalogues,” said Rin, never taking his eyes off Haru. As if on cue, Haruka turned around to stare haughtily in their direction. Sousuke hummed.

The next day, Rin and Sousuke hung up the lights as planned, then set up no less than seven metal reindeer in a loose cluster, their wires gleaming in the sun, and their lights bathing the entire moonlit front yard in a golden glow. Standing by the living room window, Haruka’s eyes narrowed over his slice of mackerel pie.

“Makoto…”

“What is it, Haru?” Makoto took another sip of his hot chocolate.

“We need more metal Christmas trees,” Haruka continued to glare at the reindeer as if his indignation might send them scattering.

In the morning, they went back to the home improvement store, and returned with enough small metal Christmas trees to flank their approach on either side. Rin and Sousuke scoffed.

By afternoon, the reindeer received tinsel harnesses and lined up in front of a white sleigh that doubled as an outdoor loveseat. Haru’s eyes flashed.

For a day, nothing changed, though Rin and Sousuke sat outside for above an hour to wait and gloat… until come dawn, they seethed in agony as Haru and Makoto enjoyed their breakfast in a heatable winter wonderland gazebo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fight might have continued indefinitely, had it not been for the fact that Makoto got tired of spending time and money on this competition, and walked over to Rin and Sousuke’s house to invite them over. They reluctantly accepted and brought some of their own food along, so the four of them ended up eating a lovely brunch in the gazebo. Now they have brunch in the gazebo every week, and it is redecorated every few months to suit the current season.


	15. Imaizumi/Naruko, Inappropriate Christmas Cards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Original prompt:** “You bought the most inappropriate Christmas cards I have ever seen, and I want to get mad at you, but I actually know a few people who deserve these, so give me some.”

“Hotshot! _I’m home!”_ Shoukichi hollered from the hallway as he shoved the front door closed with his shoulder, then plopped on the bench to pry off his cleat shoes.

“About time,” came Shunsuke’s voice from some ways away, dry and even. “Did you manage to get everything for once?”

“Of course I did!” Shoukichi entered the living room, to find his boyfriend perched by the kotatsu. “Who do you take me for?”

“A guy who repeatedly forgets to take his shopping list,” replied Shunsuke without missing a beat, or looking up from his own list of seasonal chores. Shoukichi gave him a loud _Hmph!_ as he strutted over and dropped several paper shopping bags onto the tabletop, startling Shunsuke out of his stoic reverie.

“How’s this, Hotshot?” Shoukichi grinned at him. Shunsuke squinted at the offering.

“There had better be some greeting cards in one of these,” was all he managed to say.

“Ka-ka-ka! There sure are!” Shoukichi reached into one of the bags and whipped out a stack of cards, offering them to Shunsuke. “Get a load of _these!”_

Shunsuke set down his list and drew the stack into his hands. Within seconds, a grimace congealed over his face.

 _“You jingle my bells..?”_ he read the first one out in disbelief, then drew the next one. _“You’re my favorite ho, ho, ho? This Christmas, get stuffed?! When I think about you,_ **_I touch my elf?!”_ **

_“Hilarious, right?!”_ Shoukichi balled his fists.

“I hate you with every inch of my body,” Shunsuke stared back in icy disdain.

“That’s a lot of inches,” mused Shoukichi. “But _fiiine..!_ If you hate them so much, give them back.”

Shunsuke hesitated.

“Actually.. I think I’ll take this one,” he placed the _This Christmas, get stuffed!_ card in front of himself.

“For who?”

“Midousuji.”

_“Ah…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shunsuke ended up co-signing the other cards (they sent the _You jingle my bells!_ card to Onoda, by the way), and was utterly convinced that he and his ridiculous boyfriend were guilty of the most embarrassing Christmas cards that year, until they received one from Makishima. The winter editions of his favorite gravure magazines all came with greeting card supplements featuring santa outfit pinups in titillating poses, and Makishima felt it would be a shame to waste them, so he sent some to his closest friends, including his former teammates and Toudou. Onoda happened to open his in front of his mother, which was awkward, but since it had come from Makishima-san, he put it on his desk anyway, right next to Shunsuke and Shoukichi’s card.


	16. Matsuno Brothers, Ruined Kitchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Original prompt:** “The oven is busted and the stove stopped working, so our Christmas dinner is either Chinese takeout or yesterday’s cookies and all the alcohol we can find, your choice.”

When the sextuplets discovered that their parents had eloped on Christmas vacation, leaving their sons to fend for themselves, outrage and panic followed. However, in a heartwarming twist, they ended up joining forces to salvage their holidays, and did so well that by Christmas Eve, Choromatsu found himself smiling as he opened the oven door.

Next, he grabbed the turkey’s tray, but before he could slide it in, the tray spontaneously combusted in his hands.

 _“Huh?!_ **_Why?!”_ ** cried Choromatsu as flames engulfed the turkey. **_“NOT THIS AGAIN! AAAAAAAAAH!"_ ** he flung the white hot tray away from himself. It landed on the table and exploded, as these things wont to do.

“What’s wrong, Choromatsu-niisa _AAAAAAAAAAAAH!”_ Todomatsu broke into a high-pitched scream in the doorway, attracting the rest of the brothers.

“What?! _How did you—_ **_WHAAAT?!”_ ** Osomatsu wailed at their blazing kitchen.

“I knew this was coming,” sighed Ichimatsu.

“That’s not how you flambé, Choromatsu-niisan!” flailed Jyushimatsu.

“Don’t worry, Choromatsu!” Karamatsu dashed off. _“I’ll save you, Choromatsu!”_

 **_“THEN STOP RUNNING AWAY, SHITTYMATSU!”_ ** screeched Choromatsu as he and the others scrambled outside, where they found that Karamatsu had returned with Dekapan and Dayon in tow.

As nostalgic intro music filled the air, Dekapan reached into his pants, withdrew a red and white ball, then chucked it into the fire. Dayon’s eyes gleamed.

 _“Here we go!”_ Dekapan pointed at the inferno. _“HYDRO PUMP, DASU!”_

 **_“DAAA…”_ ** Dayon puffed out his chest. **_“…YYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNN!”_ ** he belched out a burst stream of destruction.

When he stopped, the flames were gone, but so was the Matsuno house.

“You’re welcome, dasu,” Dekapan tapped a devastated Karamatsu’s shoulder, then walked off with his trusty companion.

The brothers stared at the smoldering ruins for a while. Finally, Osomatsu lifted his head.

“Alright. Let’s go drink ourselves to death.”

 _“Yaaay,”_ Ichimatsu raised a fist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From that accursed site, the brothers went directly to Chibita’s oden stand, where they drank and complained until Chibita cut them off. They then decided to move in with Iyami under the bridge. Fortunately for them, Iyami was so terrified of his new neighbors that he quickly held a fundraiser to have the Matsuno house restored so he could get the brothers off his back.
> 
> Hatabou agreed to pay for reconstruction in exchange for planting a flag where the sun doesn’t shine. Merry Christmas.


End file.
